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Member since 2019
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Someone Else Asked

I believe I’ve had HSDD my whole life. I am only now looking into this. My whole life I never felt sexually aroused, by either gender, even though I would have sex. I enjoy sex more with women than men, and also am more attracted to women. I much prefer being the giver, than the receiver. When my partner wants to pleasure me, I’m at a loss at what to do, how to feel, if I’m supposed to be feeling something, if this is normal, if I’m broken. I just feel nothing, emptiness when it’s my turn. And I feel ashamed and abnormal. My main question is, how did you discover HSDD and how did you talk to your partner about it, if at all? Thank you ladies!

LaLuna Answered
“I can relate to so much that you said. I haven’t felt this way all my life but I definitely was able to notice a change. Maybe I wasn’t as bad before or even in denial about it but now it’s been too hard not to notice there is something wrong. I also am more into females and more attracted to them. I’m currently in a relationship with a girl and idk I guess I thought she’d understand but, unfortunately due to my problem, she has a extremely high sex drive so this defect I feel has been causing nothing but problems. We can even be in the middle of it and, like yourself I am the pleaser because of how I feel, she will lose interest in me and call it off and I’m the bad guy because of it. I try to be open with people about how I am feeling. Even more so since I’ve started feeling this unbalance within myself when it comes to anything sexual. Past partners did not understand and often would turn their backs on me unfortunately. As for my current partner, I’ve let her know several times that there is something wrong with me and i just wasn’t sure, still don’t quiet know, what it is. Why I am the way I am. She stated she understood but when it comes down to it, that’s not the case for us. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone but I wish that was enough to make it better. I hope that you are able to find treatment and are able to find partners that are better understanding of your situation. Having a support system is really important, especially if your anything like me and look at yourself as the problem like everyone does. I feel the best thing to do while you’re figuring it out is to stay honest with yourself. How you feel. What you want. We are pleasers but at what cost does it take for us, when we are struggling with this so hurtfully. You’re feelings are important too and if they can’t understand that, someone will. Stay positive dear.”
2 years ago
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