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I am 23 and my bf is 24. I have been with my bf for 6yrs now. At around 2 yrs ago my sex drive went so dwn. I’m never in the mood and he always is. When i say no I’m the bad one. Even when we do have sex he still wants to keep going bit I’m one and done I’m satisfied, but he’s not. I’m not driven like i was b4 and we have fought over this for a while now. How can I make it better.

  • 7Responses
  • Answered 4 years ago
    Already I feel like your boyfriend isn't supportive, and probably accuses you of it all being in your head. I'm saddened to hear you're in a situation where it's difficult for you to communicate how you're feeling about HSDD. Have you gone to the doctor? Have you been diagnosed?
  • Answered 4 years ago
    Hi there, I'm 23 as well and I have run into this situation as well. My husband keeps telling me it is all in my head, but it never felt like it was all in my head. I felt like I was crazy... but I couldn't get myself in the mood when he was. Its caused a lot of stress.
  • Answered 4 years ago
    So, this is toxic masculinity, and your partner's orgasms and pleasure are NOT your responsibility. Him insisting they are and guilting you for it is abusive. He's literally acting as a child, throwing a tantrum, to coerce you into sex. That's abuse and manipulation. If he can't masturbate to take care of himself AND if his orgasms are more important than you not wanting to have sex, that's gonna be trouble further down the road. Address this NOW! If he refuses to talk about it or is rude, move on. Those are the building blocks for advanced abusive tactics.
  • Answered 4 years ago
    I’ve been having the same issue as u for a while now. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. There are a couple possibilities that may contribute to your low sex drive. For one, it can be that you no longer are attracted or satisfied in your relationship and you might just need to move on, which is normal and does not make you a terrible person. Two, depression and stressors can be a factor, so speaking to a therapist can definitely help. Three, you can have a hormone imbalance and should ask your doctor for an order of your thyroid hormone levels, but be persistent because doctors tend to ignore women’s issues since they often think it has to do with our menstrual cycle or something super annoying. I have found that my stressors in my life have been a problem and have been seeing a therapist, which has been extremely helpful. Also, when I was working out frequently my sex drive was always up but since I’ve been in nursing school its been hard to maintain that life style. Remember that your boyfriend is a male and does not understand how complicated a woman’s body is, so its best that you explain to him. It is not that he is not supportive, but just doesn’t get what you are going through. If you show him that you are making an effort to figure out the cause of your low sex drive then he will be more supportive I assure you.
  • Answered 4 years ago
    Hi there. 24 year old here with a 25 year old bf and we have also been together for 6 years. I haven't been on birth control in about 4 years and my libido started decreasing around 2.5 years ago. I can totally relate to your feelings. I only recently found out about HSDD and it gave me a sense of relief to know I am not alone in my feelings of confusion with my body as of the last couple of years. I used to brush it off as just being in a relationship for a long time and not needing that constant desire for sexual interaction, but after a while I realized it was most likely something more than that. I have listened to everyone asking if i'm still attracted to my bf and the answer is 100% yes. we have such a healthy relationship and he never makes me feel bad for not being in the mood. We have found healthy boundaries to please his desires while not treading over mine. This includes him masturbating to me in person or through a video for when i'm not up for sex and he is (sorry if TMI, just sharing some tips that might help others). And yes, I also let him watch regular porn, but he insists that he would rather it be me, so this is something that has worked for us to try to keep that sexual magic alive in our relationship, maybe it might help with other people whose SO's are not so understanding. I have scheduled an appt with my gynecologist for next week to talk about my low sexual desire and i'm hoping she can provide me with a definitive answer on whether I do have HSDD or not and if she can prescribe me anything to help.
    • Verified Response
      Answered 4 years ago
      Thanks for sharing your story, Savannah.
  • Answered 4 years ago
    Unfortunately, i am in this same situation:/ married for 2 years and togeather 7 and we have been having issues for the last few years on and off, he gets upset at me over this and i think i have lost interest because we have been through so much stressful situations. His father passed 2 years ago from cancer and i helped take care of him. Before that his grandmother and i lived in his parents home for 3 years. We are on our own now and i thought being there and moving would help us but idk anymore its like ive lost interest in it all for all the stress and he seems to just anoy me about it. I am so glad i am not the only one! He doesnt understand from my perspective of things just from his. He is a wonderful person but men want what they want they can not help it. I have dressed sexier etc and nothing. I am not sure what to even do anymore ? We also have tried for a child and ive lost all interest in that to because i am not wanting to do anything.
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